you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize