the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
this will be a night to untag.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
40s are totally the cure
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
