I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
