Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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