I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
