whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Randomize
