sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Randomize
