its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
What drink are we having for lunch?
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
The ass gains better be worth it
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize