I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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