I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
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