This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
