DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
i can't believe i had my finger in that
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
