have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
