They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Randomize
