You smell like a Billy Joel song
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
