that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
