By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
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