I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Randomize