Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize