either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
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