Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
