so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
