Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
