Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Randomize
