I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
The air was thick with penises
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Randomize
