Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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