in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
