it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Randomize
