pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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