if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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