I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
