i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Randomize
