I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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