you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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