Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
