I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Randomize
