there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize