i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Randomize
