your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
