His pubic hair was longer than his dick
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
