I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Randomize
