yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
