That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Randomize
