Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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