i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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