woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
