Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
