is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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