He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Dicks are not precious.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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