i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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