this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
It's not a walk of shame if you run
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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