wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
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