Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Randomize
