i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
