Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
