oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Tell her she can't have a vagina
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
