I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Randomize
