Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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