I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Randomize
