My nipple is on Facebook.
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Randomize
