The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
